How Journaling Saved My Perimenopause Mental Health

I was lying in bed at 3 a.m. in the middle of a full panic attack, my heart racing, convinced that something was seriously wrong with me. I had been having these panic attacks with increasing frequency. They would hit out of nowhere and be completely overwhelming. I was exhausted from the anxiety. I was afraid to be alone because I did not know when the next panic attack would come. My therapist had suggested I try journaling. I had dismissed it. Journaling felt like something people did to process feelings, and I did not feel like I had time for feelings. I had work. I had a family. I did not have time to sit around writing about my emotions. But at 3 a.m., desperate, I grabbed a notebook from my nightstand and I started writing about the panic attack. I wrote about what I was feeling. I wrote about what I was afraid of. I wrote about what I was thinking in the moment. By the time I finished writing, the panic attack had subsided.

How I got here

The anxiety during perimenopause had become severe. I was a relatively anxious person before perimenopause, but it was manageable. Now, my baseline anxiety was through the roof. I was waking up with my heart racing. I was having panic attacks during the day. I was constantly on edge. I was exhausted from being anxious all the time. My doctor had suggested therapy and I had started seeing a therapist. I was also looking at medication. But before I went on medication, I wanted to try some other strategies. My therapist mentioned journaling as a tool for processing anxiety. I had been resistant. I felt like journaling was a waste of time when I could be doing something more productive. But then I had that panic attack at 3 a.m. and I decided to try what my therapist had suggested.

What I actually did

That first night, I wrote about the panic attack. I wrote for about twenty minutes, stream of consciousness, without editing or worrying about whether what I was writing was smart or made sense. I just wrote what was happening in my body and my mind. It helped. The panic attack resolved and I was able to go back to sleep. The next morning, I decided I would try journaling as a regular practice. I set aside about fifteen minutes each morning and I wrote. I did not have a structured format. I just wrote whatever was in my head. Sometimes it was about what I was anxious about. Sometimes it was about what I was grateful for. Sometimes it was just about what happened the day before. Week one of daily journaling, I noticed that I was a bit more aware of my anxiety patterns. I would write about what was making me anxious and often I would realize that the anxiety was not as overwhelming when I actually thought about it carefully. Week two, the panic attacks were less frequent. I was having them maybe once every two days instead of multiple times a day. Week three, I was having them maybe once or twice a week. Month two, I was noticing that journaling was not just helping with the acute anxiety in the moment. It was also helping me process what was underlying the anxiety. I was writing about my fear of aging, my fear of losing control, my fear of my body changing. As I wrote about these things, I was able to see them more clearly and feel less overwhelmed by them.

What actually changed

The anxiety decreased dramatically. I went from having panic attacks multiple times a day to having them maybe once a week or less. That was a significant change. I was sleeping better because I was not anxious all night. I was able to focus at work because my mind was not racing. The panic attacks, when they did happen, were less severe and I could manage them more easily because I had the tool of journaling to process them. What also changed was my understanding of the anxiety. As I journaled, I realized that a lot of my anxiety was not actually about anything concrete. It was just free-floating anxiety from my body adjusting to hormonal changes. Understanding that intellectually made it feel less terrifying when it came up. What did not change is that perimenopause anxiety is real. I was not just making it up. It has a biological basis. But journaling gave me a tool to manage it that did not require medication, even though I am still open to medication if I need it.

What my routine looks like now

I journal almost every morning now. It is just part of my routine. I sit down with coffee and a notebook and I write for fifteen to twenty minutes. Sometimes I write about how I am feeling. Sometimes I write about my symptoms. Sometimes I write about my day. There is no pressure for it to be anything particular. It is just a way for me to get thoughts out of my head and onto paper. The panic attacks are rare now. When they do happen, I can usually journal through them. I have also noticed that journaling has helped me feel more connected to my own experience. Instead of just living through perimenopause and being confused about what is happening, I am able to observe my symptoms and understand them. That sense of understanding makes everything feel more manageable.

If you are struggling with anxiety during perimenopause, I would strongly suggest trying journaling. It is free. It has no side effects. You do not have to be good at writing or have anything profound to say. You just have to be willing to sit down and get your thoughts out. The act of putting your anxiety on paper somehow makes it less scary. It takes it out of your head and gives it a different form. What worked for me is not medical advice, and what your body needs may be completely different. Always talk to your healthcare provider about your specific situation before making changes. If your anxiety is severe or affecting your functioning, definitely bring that up with your provider. They can help you figure out whether therapy, journaling, medication, or a combination of approaches is right for you.