What Perimenopause Taught Me About Self Care

I was reading an article about self-care and I realized I had never actually prioritized my own wellbeing until perimenopause forced me to. For years, I had talked about self-care. I had bought the bath bombs and the face masks. But I had never actually slowed down enough to actually take care of myself in any meaningful way. Perimenopause changed that. I could not run at full speed anymore. My body would not let me. So I had to learn to slow down. I had to learn to prioritize sleep and good food and movement. I had to learn that taking care of myself was not selfish. It was necessary.

How I got here

I had always been the kind of person who pushed through. I did not sleep much because I was too busy. I did not exercise consistently because I was too busy. I did not eat well because I was too busy. I was running on coffee and adrenaline and the belief that slowing down meant I was lazy or weak. Then perimenopause happened and I could not push through anymore. I was exhausted. I was sick. I was struggling. I had to make a choice. I could keep pushing and deteriorate further, or I could actually take care of myself.

What I actually did

I started with sleep. I decided that I was going to prioritize getting seven to eight hours of sleep per night. That required me to stop work earlier in the evening. It required me to set a bedtime and stick to it. It required me to say no to some social activities that would keep me out late. Sleep became non-negotiable. Once sleep improved, I had more energy for other things. I started eating more intentionally. I was not dieting. I was just eating nourishing food that made my body feel good. I started moving my body regularly. Not for punishment or to change how I looked. Just to make myself feel good. I started taking time for myself. Not as a luxury or a treat. But as a necessary part of maintaining my wellbeing. I started taking medications and supplements that I needed. I started going to therapy. I started setting boundaries with people. All of these were acts of self-care.

What actually changed

My symptoms improved when I started taking care of myself properly. Better sleep meant less brain fog. Good nutrition meant more stable energy. Regular movement meant better mood and less anxiety. Self-care was not just about feeling pampered. It was about maintaining the baseline of health that I needed to manage perimenopause symptoms. What also changed is that I learned that self-care is not selfish. It is necessary. Taking care of myself made me a better partner, a better parent, a better friend, a better employee. It did not make me selfish. It made me able to show up better for the people I care about.

What my routine looks like now

Self-care is non-negotiable in my life now. I sleep eight hours. I eat nourishing food. I move my body regularly. I do things that bring me joy. I set boundaries. I go to therapy. I take my medications and supplements. I take time for myself. Not as a luxury, but as a basic maintenance requirement. My perimenopause symptoms are much better managed because I am actually taking care of myself.

If perimenopause is forcing you to actually take care of yourself, lean into that. Do not see it as a burden. See it as an opportunity to learn that you are worth taking care of. That your wellbeing matters. That the way you treat yourself sets the tone for your entire life. Self-care is not selfish. It is necessary. And perimenopause might be the thing that finally teaches you that.