My Grandchildren Brought Joy To A Difficult Perimenopause Season

I was holding my granddaughter in my arms when I felt something shift. I was in the middle of a hot flash and I was tired and I was aching. But I was also filled with joy. My granddaughter looked up at me and smiled. In that moment, I forgot about my perimenopause symptoms. I forgot about feeling old. I felt young and alive and purposeful. My grandchildren became one of my greatest sources of joy and meaning during a season of my life when I was struggling.

How I got here

My grandchildren had just moved to the same city as me when my perimenopause started. Before they moved, I had only seen them a few times a year. They had moved because my son got a job transfer. My daughter-in-law reached out to ask if I could help with childcare a few days a week. I was hesitant. I was not sure if I could manage being around young kids when I was feeling so bad. But I agreed to try.

What I actually did

I started watching my grandchildren two days a week. The first week was hard. I was exhausted. My symptoms were flaring. But by the second week, something changed. I noticed that when I was with my grandchildren, I was more present. I was less focused on my symptoms. I was engaged in play and laughter and connection. My grandchildren did not care that I had hot flashes or that I was tired. They just loved me. They laughed at my jokes. They hugged me. They wanted to spend time with me. They made me feel valued and needed and loved. I started looking forward to the days I watched them. I started doing more activities with them that got me moving and playing.

What actually changed

My mood improved. My sense of purpose improved. I felt less focused on my aging body and more focused on the joy of being a grandmother. The time with my grandchildren gave me a reason to take care of my health. I wanted to be active enough to play with them. I wanted to be alive and healthy long enough to see them grow up. My perimenopause was still happening but it felt less central to my life. I was busy being present with my grandchildren instead of being focused on my symptoms.

What my routine looks like now

I watch my grandchildren two days a week. I also see them on weekends. I take them to activities and we play together. I use PeriPlan to track my overall wellbeing and I can see that the weeks when I spend more time with my grandchildren are weeks when my mood is better. Being a grandmother has added meaning and joy to this season of my life.

If you have grandchildren or other young people in your life, consider spending time with them during perimenopause. Their joy and their love can be healing. Their perspective can help us let go of what does not matter and focus on what does. This is not medical advice about perimenopause. But connection across generations is medicine.